The idea of loving yourself may seem like a selfish one to many people. After all we’ve been brought up in a society that constantly talks about loving others, being kind and sharing, going out of our way to help and so on.
Yet, nobody really talks about loving one’s own self and being kind to yourself. This is one of the reasons why so many people are in depression and stress themselves out repeatedly.
They are harder on themselves than anyone else while failing to realize that to love yourself, you don’t need to be perfect. This results in a situation where people crave love from someone else and feel lost when they’re single and alone.
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They get their self-worth and validation from seeking the love and approval of another person. The truth of the matter is that you can never love someone else more than you love yourself.
Since so many people are short in this area, they feel unfulfilled in their relationships. It seems like their partners are never doing enough to make them feel good. It’s always about how much the other person is doing for them and any lack of attention is frowned upon and deemed as neglect.
The best way to overcome this problem is to speak to a professional therapist. There is no shame or stigma in it. Very often, you’ll discover that there were incidences and experiences in your childhood or teenage years that have caused some trauma within you that now makes you feel the way you do.
Digging out these harsh and painful memories will allow you to understand how they affected you and altered your way of thinking. For some people, a painful breakup during their teenage years may leave them feeling unworthy all the way into their forties.
It may seem strange, but the mind doesn’t work in a way that always makes sense. The scars from before can affect you on a level that affects your entire life even when you’ve long forgotten about them. Your thinking has been shaped from the “scar tissue” and it follows you throughout life.
While you may have been dumped by your childhood sweetheart or cheated on by your college boyfriend, that doesn’t mean that you’re not worthy of love. It doesn’t mean that you need to constantly be jealous because you’re not good enough for your partner and they may cheat.
This is how your emotional scars wreak havoc in your life. Analyze your thinking and get to the root of the problem. Understand why you think and act the way you do. You need to love yourself as much as you want to be loved.
Do not confuse sanity with vanity. Obsessing over your appearance and trying to look better than others is vanity. Understanding that you deserve love despite your flaws and mistakes is sanity.
When you develop a healthy relationship with yourself, your inner self-talk will be positive and generally you’ll be a more optimistic person. You’ll attract others and appreciate your partner more. Life will be better.
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